Some George Carlin Quotes

.Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone 
going faster than you is a maniac?


The reason I talk to myself is because I'm the only one whose answers I accept.” 

Just because you got the monkey off your back, doesn't mean the circus has left town. 


“The planet is fine. “Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid.

Inside every cynical person there is a disappointed idealist.